Archive for August, 2012
Today, MOCKINGBIRD by Author Chuck Wendig, who I am happy to call a
profanity screaming robot ninja from the year 2138 Hellbeast from the Inferno Pits of Malebolge rabid, feces flinging death monkey friend, hits the mean streets.
It’s the follow-up to his fuckawesome novel BLACKBIRDS, which is ten kinds of amazing. When I finished it my first thought was, “This is going to win awards.” It’s only been out since April, but this time next year I expect it on a boatload of Top Ten Lists.
AND IF IT ISN’T I WILL HURT YOU.
But now we have MOCKINGBIRD, which sees Miriam Black, she of the bitter profanity and psychic visions, trying really hard to have something like a normal life.
It isn’t going well.
She’s living in a double wide with a guy who’s on the road most of the time and going more than a little stir crazy.
And the visions, those little death vignettes she sees whenever she touches someone, well, they just keep a-comin’.
When she agrees to a job that’ll get her out of the double-wide things go from weird to psycho and the whirlpool that is Miriam’s life threatens to drag her down all over again.
Get thee hence and grab this book. You won’t be disappointed.
This is a hell of a collection and I’m proud to be in such good company.
If you’ve a mind grab a copy and check it out. You won’t be disappointed.
In a couple of weeks I will be in Chicago for Worldcon among the madding crowd of science fiction and fantasy authors, fans and ne’er-do-wells. I will spend my days and nights slightly piss drunk and gorging on Chicago style pizza, which one cannot get in Los Angeles outside of a couple of places in Eagle Rock or something.
Anyway, if you’re there, you should totally look me up.*
Here’s my schedule for all you would be assassins.
Thu Aug 30 – 7:30:pm – 9:00:pm – Grand Suite 2AB
Crime and Fantasy
From vampire assassins to wizard private eyes to undead thugs, crime has been mixing it up with fantasy for years. What is it about crime, noir, and the paranormal that’s so appealing?
I’ll be moderating this panel with Bob Garcia, Diana Rowland, Jim Frenkel, and Steve Saffel. I’ve never actually moderating anything before. So that’ll be interesting. We’ll see how well that flies.
Fri Aug 31 – 10:30:am – 12:00:pm – McCormick
The New Pulp Fiction
The Guardian newspaper in the UK mentioned in a recent story that there is a new “rock’n'roll pulp fiction chic” and that Adam Christopher and Chuck Wendig are leading the way. What is this new pulp fiction?
Unsurprisingly my two cohorts in this will be the aforementioned Adam Christopher and Chuck Wendig. We will likely be drunk, possibly pantsless and there is a 10000000000% chance of swearing. Place your best on which of us will first use the term Monkeyfucker in a sentence.
On a possibly related note the panel before us is “How to Write for Furries”.** Seriously.
And then later that day I will be doing that author thing where I sit around and watch people line-up for other authors who are better known and beloved than I while I drown my sorrows in a flask of everclear and occasionally drunkenly declare, “DON’T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM?!?” before falling to the ground sobbing about my Amazon rankings.
This is known as an Autograph Session and will be at the aptly named Autograph Tables on Friday from 1:30 to 3:00.****
So if you’re at Worldcon at the end of this month come find me. if you miss me in those places I will likely be in a bar somewhere.
*The usual restrictions apply: If I owe you money, welched on a bet and you just can’t get over it, or if you are a Luchadora named Consuela, La Alpaca Caliente. Look, Mexico City was fun and all but that was twenty years ago. I don’t have the microchip, anymore. I sold it to the Russian. Don’t give me that. You damn well know which Russian. Sergei, The Bear. Yes, the one in Morocco. How many Russian Cold War Spies named Sergei, The Bear do you know? Okay, that’s actually a bad question. Look, just… Just don’t show up, all right? You’re swarming with ninjas and I just managed to get off their radar. I’ve developed an allergic reaction to shuriken. They make be break out in blood and the stains are a bitch to get out. Okay? Thanks.
**No, I am not on that panel, though I am considering crashing it just to see what writing for furries means. Is it just sex in bunny suits or are there deeper, more meaningful layers of metaphor to two people furtively banging away in a broom closet while dressed as Winnie The Pooh and some Anime chick with cat ears?***
***Actually, no, I will not be crashing that panel. That would be mean. I know I’m an asshole, but come on, I’m not going to judge your fetishes. They’re yours. If getting sticky with a bunch of mouse-eared folks in full-body velour robes is your thing, knock yourself out. Just use protection, okay?
****I will sign books. I will not sign checks. They will bounce and we will both be unhappy. Though I can’t imagine anyone would want me to I will not sign a body part*****. It will just make me sad when you inevitably wash it off, my name running into the sewers like tears in the rain. Or worse if you don’t because, well, hygiene’s important.
*****If, however you have a body part that is not attached to you, such as a dismembered arm, head, gnawed off ear or sexual prosthesis, we might be able to work something out. Not guaranteeing it, but I’m pretty open to new experiences.******
******Except for stuff involving furries. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just not my thing. Really.*******
*******Okay, I’ve just had it pointed out to me that saying that I will somehow be Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow in the title above sort of implies some kind of furry endorsement. Please understand that that is not the case. It’s really not my thing. It’s summer in Chicago and there is no way I’m going to put on anything that even hints of velour in that weather.********
********Besides, the udders kind of get in the way.
So without further ado… Ta-da!
UPDATE: For those wondering, the artist is the amazing Chris McGrath, whose work you can find here.
And if it seems like it might be your cuppa tea, I’d be mighty grateful if you’d pre-order a copy.